The Feature Product
Golf's Ultimate Guide to Respectable Cheating
A witty, irreverent field guide to the unofficial rules of recreational golf. Remember, we're trying to enjoy the game. Let's not worry about mere technicalities.
USGA would not approve
The Feature Product
Golf's Ultimate Guide to Respectable Cheating
For more than 99 percent of us, 72 good shots in a row is not going to happen. So when the shelling occurs, this guidebook helps you play your next shot penalty-free — and walk off the 18th with a smile and a score you can deliver with pride. Even if it's somewhat filtered pride.
- For the millions who love golf but can't live with the reality of their score.
- The 24 Rules of Golf — and their 200+ subsections — respectably reinterpreted.
- Mulligans, Gimmees, Safety Free Drops, and the infamous Point of Entry.
- Written by friends of nearly fifty years, with a Prologue and Epilogue by former USGA Secretary Bill Katz.
- Illustrated by Lacey Owens. Published by Man's Golf LLC.
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From the Prologue
“I must urge you: stop now. Set this book down, walk away, and save yourself. There is nothing even remotely ‘respectable’ about what lies ahead. Unless, of course, you're like me — and could use a very good laugh.”
— Bill Katz, Former Secretary, United States Golf Association (USGA)
He really is a good friend of ours, and he really was the Secretary of the USGA. You can fact-check this.
Table of Contents
Nine Chapters. Zero Remorse.
A complete curriculum for golfers who love the game but can't live with the reality of their score.
- General Dedicationp. 3
- Prologue by Bill Katzp. 4
- 01p. 5
The Rules of Golf
600 years, 24 rules, 200+ subsections. Don't fret — we've got you.
- 02p. 8
Rules Are Meant to Be Broken
Six rules, respectably reinterpreted, from the tee box to the green.
- 03p. 18
Respectable Cheating, Guilt and Enjoyment
Essential definitions, and how to make the guilt go away.
- 04p. 24
The Inception of the Mulligan and Other Mental Rules
David Bernard Mulligan, the Gimmee, and the Foot Wedge.
- 05p. 39
Point of Entry
Trauma markers, Safety Free Drops, and the 30-yard bonus.
- 06p. 56
GUGTRC
The acronyms: Red Zone Hero Syndrome, Boundary Paralysis Disorder, and more.
- 07p. 68
The Short Grass and Sandy Pit
Greens, fringes, bunkers, and the generous Gimmee.
- 08p. 78
Club Slamming & Throwing
Human, acceptable, and sometimes entertaining.
- 09p. 84
Scoring
Your score isn't final until you tee off next time.
- Epiloguep. 90
- Addendum: Origin Storyp. 91
- Dedications and Acknowledgmentsp. 98
Suspiciously Glowing Reviews
Loved by Golfers Who Will Deny Reading It
“I shaved eleven strokes off my game without taking a single lesson. This book paid for itself by the third hole.”
Dave T.
Self-reported 14 handicap
“Finally, a philosophy that respects my time, my dignity, and my deeply selective memory. Couldn't put it down.”
Linda R.
Saturday foursome captain
“My playing partners haven't noticed a thing. Five stars. Please don't show them this review.”
Anonymous
For obvious reasons
Your handicap is a story. Start writing a better one.
One book. Nine chapters. An entire lifetime of respectably lower scores ahead of you.